Every pint glass in America looks the same. How do we manage to carry on? Belgians drink out of a different chalice for every beer, and though there is something to the maxim, “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it,” sometimes it’s hard to look at that Belgian grass and not think it greener.
For the Americans who feel this way, there is a spot in town where a man can drink out of a vessel deserving of his touch. At Alice’s Tall Texan, Shiner and Lone Star, the only draft beers, are served in 20-ounce schooners that are kept chilled in a refrigerator in the back. There are other beers available by the bottle, but you miss out on all the fun if you go down that route.
It’s the $1.75 schooners you’ll see at every table in the bar, populated by an eclectic mix of distinctly Houston folks, especially those friendly gentlemen of a certain age and swagger who keep your ear for a little too long but at least have fascinating stories. Alice herself is often manning the bar, and if she doesn’t recognize a face she’ll often ask after it.
There are a surprising number of oddball snacks on display in random spots around the room, from a vintage hot nuts dispenser to personal-size bags of chips and trail mix. The jukebox is loaded up with everything from Taylor Swift — a surprisingly popular choice — to Tejano.
Some people might call Alice’s a dive, but it’s too clean and friendly for that. What you’ll notice as you begin to get loose, two hands wrapped around your gigantic glass, is that it’s just an authentic Texas beer joint and there will never be anything broken about that.
Alice’s Tall Texan
4904 North Main