Hello, Dorsia? Membership is how much? You're killing me.: Lions Gate Films
With the number of new clubs and bars opening on Kirby between Westheimer and Richmond earlier this year, many avid club goers and industry types expected Upper Kirby to become the new Washington Avenue; i.e., rowdy shot-slammers would be drawn to these nascent hot spots like moths to a neon Heineken light.

Though the crop of new Kirby clubs has drawn a crowd, it hasn’t gone in exactly that direction. With Saint Genevieve, Roak, Hendricks Pub, OTC and Owl in the area, consumers will be hard-pressed to find decent parking on a Friday or Saturday night.

And if they aren’t looking carefully, they’ll also be hard-pressed to spot the newest addition to Upper Kirby’s upper-crust club scene: Dorsia.

Tucked in the shadows off the main drag, Dorsia is a nod to Brett Easton Ellis’ cult classic American Psycho, and more specifically, to the novel’s super-exclusive restaurant whose maître d’ laughed cruelly when Patrick Bateman, who messily filleted blondes and brutally slaughtered the homeless, deigned to ask for a same-day reservation.

This private supper club (as it is billed on its Facebook page) evidently hopes to strike the same chord, but its exclusivity is even more heavy-handed.

And don’t go expecting a dance floor.

“That’s not what I’m shooting for,” says 29-year-old owner Romy Solanji. “We don’t want a dance floor.”

Instead, Solanji has created a setting where business-minded types can network.

“I wanted to cater to the lawyers and doctors and energy guys, oil and gas guys, who want to entertain clients,” he says. “They can go out, have a good time and they don’t have to worry about the public.”

With Dorsia, Solanji has created a new paradigm for the Houston club scene — and it is a club in the truest sense of the word. It is a members-only lounge, wine bar and restaurant where patrons are afforded a cornucopia of unusual and luxurious resources and amenities but where membership is not necessarily guaranteed, even if you can foot the $2,000 base membership price.

Solanji set up three membership levels: Individual memberships are $2,000, or $200 a month, which gets you access to the club as well as a complimentary chauffeured car service, concierge, climate-controlled wine locker and access to a chef who can create personalized menus. (Former Tony’s executive chef Olivier Ciesielski is the consultant chef.) Wine Connoisseur memberships are $2,500 and include first right of refusal on hard-to-get vintages. Corporate memberships are $5,000 and include eight individual memberships for employees, colleagues, etc.

The club also has partnered with an exotic car rental agency, just in case you need to pull up in a Ferrari.

“You want a Lamborghini for the day, we deliver it to your house,” Solanji says. “It’s just a little feature added to the membership."

As it stands, Dorsia is positioned to become the country club of nightclubs, but the members-only factor is sure to rub some the wrong way.

But the general public is not the demographic Dorsia hopes to attract. Like Roak, it is billed as an upscale club. And like Roak, it’s in a relatively upscale location (the two properties share the same block in Upper Kirby, a stone’s throw from West Ave and easily accessible to River Oaks).

If Roak is any indication, there is indeed a niche market for establishments that effect an air of high-class superiority. Dorsia is taking that hoity-toity vibe to the next level. Access is granted at the discretion of those who created it, and one must assume that fitting in is an element to be considered; simply removing your ball cap and donning a collared shirt isn’t going to cut it.

But Houston has enough dives, sports bars and ice houses to keep all the college kids and die-hard proletarians well-sauced. For folks who think the grass is greener on the other side, there is now a new option, if they can afford it — and if they’re deemed worthy by the cartel granting memberships.

And guys can breathe easier knowing their girlfriends won’t be tempted to leave with the guy driving the Lamborghini Gallardo because he’s over at the bar to which most guys won’t pay to — or can’t — get in.

But if you want to get in?

“Then become a member,” Solanji says. “It’s not that expensive.”

Dorsia: 3200 Kirby, 713-523-3600.