OK, I stole this zombie survival rule from my awesome friend Kymberlie, so if I win I'll give her a ticket: Zombie Survival Rule #1: ALWAYS have a plan and be prepared to execute it. Have specific plans (hideouts, supllies, etc) for home, work, and other places you frequent. And know the best kinds of places to hole up, so that if the Zombie Apocalypse begins when you're in unfamiliar territory, you can still find a good place to ride it out.

[Note that this is also survival rule #1 for the Robot Apocalypse and the Monkey Apocalypse, but that the types of hideouts and supplies differ (booby-trapped bunches of bananas are no help with robots or zombies, for example.)]

Stay away from the mall! Move as fast as you can with the least amount of noise. Use a gun only as a last resort becouse it will only draw unwanted attention. Never hesitate to kill a freind to save the group!

My natural response would be to kill it with fire. A pissed off zombie is bad, a pissed off zombie on fire is really effin' bad. I would use fire as the last possible resort. My rule would be to stay away from dry land for as long as possible. Zombies can't really swim, but they can wade through water. When they go underneath, their lungs will eventually fill up with water and they will sink to the bottom. You would have to be in some deep water, none of this lake business.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, I plan on holing up in the nearest pub and tie one on until my eventual zombification. After all, the only sure-fire way to survive the zombie apocalypse is to become a zombie yourself. If I'm going to be a zombie, I think I'd be much happier as a drunk zombie!

If your close to the coast, get on a boat and anchor yourself off-shore. If not, got to the highest floor of a building and wait at the top of the stairs. As they come up, beat them down with a bat and watch them fall on top of each other like dominoes. And make sure you're with someone just in case you get overwhelmed.

Oh, why fight it? As a zombie, you don't have to worry about work or bills or what others think of you. Also, food will be plentiful and you'll always be surrounded by like-minded individuals. Zombification will be liberating.

Gather a small trustworthy group, raid for food and small weapons, and drive out to a lake. I figure the first thing that will be compromised is fresh water supplies, so as long as we have that we'll be able to barter for anything we run out of. The other consideration is that if we stay far away from the cities, zombies aren't a terribly mobile group. After that we'll eventually be able to pick and choose the strongest people who have the most to offer to join our society. Essentially I figure it'll end up like tribal warfare, except with more zombies and cars.

I'm thinking food's going to be in short supply during a Zombie Apocalypse, so you're gonna need to come up with a sustainable source of comestibles. One food there is sure to not be a shortage of is zombie flesh. I know what you're thinking. "You can't eat zombie. You'll end up turning into one." This is a danger, I will admit. But that's why you have to be sure and order your zombie burgers well done. Properly prepared, undead dining can be both safe and enjoyable. Bon apetit.

There is no safe place. Always keep moving. Invest in very sharp machetes so you don't lose your head. Take theirs. Wear tight clothes and cut hair short. Pray that you have excellent stamina. Don't be afraid to use your slow fat friend as bait.

- If you hear clawing and groaning outside your door, dont open it like a dumbass #zombiesurvivalrule

-Never and I repeat never trust someone who says "I know a shortcut outta here..." #zombiesurvivalrule

-Dont leave your loved one behind if they lose a limb. Somewhere along the way the bad karma will come back to eat u #zombiesurvivalrule

#1 - More small bullets are better than less bigger bullets. The .22lr is your friend.

#2 - Swords, spears, arrows, and axes get stuck. A quality cranium crusher like a large crowbar, a 4x4 treated post, a heavy length of steel pipe, or a good ole hickory axe handle will get you farther.

#3 - Remember what our good friend Max Brookes has taught us all, "Organize before they rise."

#4 - Don't get bitten and I won't have to shoot ya.

So the outbreak hits and it's about to get zombie deep in your area. While the human chaos is going down, you and/or your crew (depending on whether you want to work alone or not - keep in mind that every human is just another zombie that hasn't chased you yet) get your hands on some grenades, molotov cocktails, and other explosives. Devices with timers or detonaters are a big plus. Once you got ample ammo, get over to a big hospital. Try to arrive quickly as you can to the maternity ward and start loading up on newborns. Why babies? Because that's what you'll be strapping those boom-boom makers to and tossing them out your armored vehicle on to those zombie infested streets. The zombs love young, tender defenseless human meat so to them baby is top of the line. Unfortunately for them those infants are spiced up with tnt. You could take out many a hungry pack of undead with one well placed exploding baby. For your morally objectionable types out there, those kids had no chance at growing up with zombies on the prowl and if they did, they would eventually turn zombie anyway (if the maternity ward are slim pickings, try the kennels. Although i'm uncertain as to how zombies take to animal flesh).

The best way to survive a Zompocalypse is to rely on yourself.

It is much easier to Bug In than Bug Out as most of us Houstonians learned during Rita. Don't plan to "drive out" to anywhere as the traffic congestion & gas shortages will make you a (not so) movable feast. If you're not in a defensible home, then, I'm sorry. Why weren't you thinking of the zombies?

Make a plan for food and water: FEMA will not be coming to hand out ice and Slim Jims when there's no more room in Hell. The average person uses 1 gallon of water per day. You can spread that out a little by getting the most out of baby wipes and hand sanitizer. UV rays from the sun can be used to "wash" clothes. Baytec Containers in Baycliff sells 55 gallon water containers (new and refurbished) for a very affordable price. When that runs out, you can set up water catchers off of your gutter downspouts. If you have the forethought to see Z-Day coming you will set up a pulley system to retrieve the water from the container to the window you're drawing it from. If not, you'll have to go outside to get H2O but I think you'll be OK since zombies are mostly moaning for "BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS" and not "POTAAAAAAAAAAABLE WAAAAAAAAAAATERRRRRR". TVP (textured vegetable protein) is available online for a very low price and will keep for years. It's full of protein, iron, and fiber. $100 will get you enough for three months or so.

Keep on the downlow: Zombie movies teach us that noise, lights, smoke, sexy teenagers having sex, etc. attract zombies in droves. Don't advertise your whereabouts or supplies to the undead OR the living.

Get you a weapon: Most people in Texas are legally permitted to own firearms. The first time I went into Academy and held a Remington .12 gauge the person behind the counter told me, "This is a good gun. If a person hears this *puts round into chamber* and they don't run away, they deserve to be shot." Of course, a zombie will not heed the auditory warning, therefore shooting is deserved. Shotgun ammo is also cheap, in the grand scheme of things. You should also have a melee weapon. A machete is my WOC but crowbars and tire irons also work.

Communication: The best weapon of all against the walking dead is your lifeline. Zombie Gary cannot call Zombie Steve and be all, "Where you at, Dawg? Let's eat this family at 962 East 4th St.!" There is no T-Mobile in Zed-Town. The living will ultimately conquer the dead by communication. Again, during Rita we learned that phones are good for throwing at unruly children and not so much for talking. When phone lines for calling are still operational: text. Seriously though, P.Z. (pre-zombie) get a two-way radio for you and your other survivors. You also might want to look into CB's. The best way I found to travel on roads after Ike was by tuning into CB channels and getting feedback from truckers.

The way I see it, if you're zombie proofed you are ready for any other disaster that presents itself.

Um I would go to “The sports and outdoors”. Academy. They have the right stuff….. for killing zombies

All Zombieland winners have been notified. Please check your email!

poop, no email. still can't wait to see it!