Man. The first day of the Austin City Limits Festival was AWESOME [sung in a high-pitched dude voice like the way dudes talk about a righteous party.] It was like the sun opened up and the heavens floated down to Zilker Park and we were walking around in a Super Mario Brothers level that was just coins, no monsters.

Phoenix, for instance, was completely naked, but the crowd was so impressed with this year's buzziest band that it didn't even notice. Check the tweets. No one mentions it.

The most anticipated set of the festival, Them Crooked Vultures, was actually the least impressive as the supergroup of Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and John Paul Jones just played Air Supply covers the whole night. Boo, you stupid vultures, I said.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs Karen O. was stunning in gold lame.

The night's headliner, Kings of Leon, apparently got really high this afternoon and came up with the brilliant idea to wear lion costumes and rename themselves King of Lions and sing sunshine pop.

OK, fine. I wasn't there. There's a pile of blame to go around, so I'll go ahead and list them: a flat tire that had to be replaced, Google's inexplicably shitty directions when it comes to Austin (I cannot tell you how many times I've gotten lost in this town following Google's directions), the media pass pick-up closing up shop at 6 p.m. (really, ACLFest?), the Yellow Cab Company, a hotel shuttle that never came to fruition, and let's just go ahead and blame the cloud over my head this week, because that no doubt had something to do with it.

It would take an idiot to screw up getting my pass tomorrow, so I have at least a 50% chance of getting to the right place at the right time and handing over an ID to get my pass. Until then, I'm kicking myself hard for missing some of the best acts of the festival today.

But I look forward to the rest of the festival because it's apparently going to rain for most of it because of a hurricane in the Pacific named Olaf. Nothing lifts the mood like two days outside in the rain.