Hell City Kings is, from left, Christian Bakka, Jared Eville, Bill Fool, The GFN, Justin the Red.: photo by Aubrey McCoy

Rock and Roll is all about your inner chimp – hairy, knuckle-dragging apes on booze and cocaine starting shit and fucking anything that moves.  Toss in tattoos, the Marshall powered guitars of Bill Fool and Christian Bakka, the merciless violence of drummer Jared Eville, the whisky soaked bass of Justin The Red, and a lead singer that is likely every parent’s nightmare who simply goes by The GFN and you’ve got the Hell City Kings. The band, after building a reputation for live shows that are like chimps ripping your face off, has released its first album, Road To Damnation, and tomorrow night they will be let loose upon an unsuspecting Rudyard’s crowd.  We asked their handlers if we could be allowed to ask them a few questions and after signing some legal waivers they (with great apprehension) allowed us to enter the Hell City Kings habitat.  Here is what we came back alive with:

29-95: Your new album The Road To Damnation is on vinyl. Let me play devil’s advocate and ask you “Who the fuck buys their music on Polyvinyl Chloride any more? Isn't this the 21st century?”

Bakka: Oh shit we better send them back so we can make money on CDs!

Justin the Red: (Fuck. He's passed out already.)

Jared:  A lot of people are really into buying vinyl.  There's a set of people still loyal to their record players.  I got into vinyl when one of my former bands put out a 7".  I thought the same thing as you, but after seeing it fly off of our merch table I began to change my mind.  Besides records sound way better.

Bill:  CDs suck balls. Anybody who still buys CDs is a fucking Idiot. Digital downloads might be the future but to tell the truth they sound like shit on a real good stereo system. So the 21st century can go fuck itself.


29-95:  You’ve got a lot of lyrics about being badasses and living life on the edge like “I’m riding with the devil and I’ve got nothing to lose," but on Gone and Forgotten you sing “I lose myself when I look in your eyes/ now I’m too lost to even fucking cry.” Really?

OK, let’s assume you are in Rock and Roll court and Thor is judging you. I assume he’ll ask you about this apparent conflict and say something like “Yea, GFN, it sounds as if your balls were handed to thee on a silver platter. What is this, a fucking Air Supply album? How do you - a tattooed balls-out Rock and Roll singer - defend yourself to this charge of wussdom?”


Bill: This really depends on if it’s the Norse god you are speaking of or the great powermetal dude. Either way I would love to be part of this court case. Afterwards we can all ride on a Viking ship and kill Air Supply and that douche who wrote most of that Meatloaf shit.

GFN:  The song is about trusting a girl that screwed me over. I feel that I justify it in the second verse: "I used barbed wire to mend my broken heart - I've taken vengeance and made it into art...’ In short I guess I'm just a big softy with a bad attitude.

29-95:  You guys put on a great show but how you approach the studio? Where was the album recorded and how did that environment change the material if at all?

Jared:  Personally I really like to practice as much as possible before going into the studio.  We did just that, but at the same time we were still writing material, which made things a bit more complicated.  After a good month or two of solid practices though we were ready.  As the drummer, I have to hit my parts in one single take before the other guys can lay down their tracks, which adds a bit of pressure.  I think studio work shows you just how good you really are while at the same time separating the men from the boys.  In the studio, you are forced to hear every little mistake, which should make you a better musician, as long as you learn from and correct those mistakes.

Bill:  If you must know the truth the approach was to do it live and keep as many fuckups as possible. Chris Ryan (of Dead City Sound, where the record was recorded) did a great job of getting it close to a live show as I think can be done. The guy is really the best in town at recording all the new indie and rock bands in town. Another thing to understand is the habits we keep at show come into the studio also. Shitloads of beer and booze.


29-95:  You play a no-frills kind of rock and roll. What do you think at its purest essence makes that kind of music work and, by the same token, how the hell can you fuck it up?


Bakka: The best part is there is no fucking up; you just have to go for it, if it doesn't work for you try joining Death Cab for Cutie.

Jared:  Having fun is what makes it work.  Getting up there and enjoying yourself is contagious.  Before you know it everyone is on their feet and either dancing, singing, or both. 

Bill:  Most people don't even know you messed up a chord when you are putting on a fun show. Sometimes the music takes second fiddle to the great atmosphere that a straight-up rock band can bring.

29-95:  It seems that anything goes with HCKs but if there were any one person who could walk into one of your shows and make you guys say “Whoa! Whoa! Stop the song! You are totally unacceptable?” who would that be and why?

Bakka: Lemmy, and I don't think he needs to answer that.

Bill:  I think he was asking for someone who is a loser not a god like Lemmy. Ramon stop being so cryptic. The answer needs to be Joe Cocker!!!!!!!!! He sucks.

Jared:  Emo fags and scenesters.  Or anyone who spends more time running their hands through their hair instead of downing the beer in their hand.

29-95:  Given that you guys support the Houston tattoo industry, I have to ask. How many tattoos does HCK have in total and, more importantly, is there anyone with a tattoo they regret and if so what is it?

Jared:  You know people always ask that and at this point I think it's more a matter of number of hours spent in the chair as opposed to number of tattoos. Anyone can get a bunch of little tattoos that take 30 minutes each.  It takes someone with real balls to sit down for 5-8 hours and let the artist do his thing. 

Bill:  It's really hard to put a number on how many because we have too many. I would say that between all 5 of us we have spent more than 500+ hours with a tattoo gun fucking up our future job status. No regrets. That's for the weak.

29-95:  So now that you guys have made a full length, what is next for Hell City Kings?

Justin the Red: (farts, flips the finger, and drinks a shot. Passed out again.)

Bakka:  A new split 7" is coming out next month with The American Heist and then in October a split LP with Whorehound.

GFN: (Left a long time ago to beat the shit out of someone)

Bill:  I just finished writing our next record. It will be a concept record (no bullshit) about a Bukowski-type bender I've been on a few times in my life. I hope we can start recording with Chris Ryan in October with a release date sometime in December or maybe a few weeks into next year. Plus lets not forget we should have another 7" or 3 out before the year's end.

Jared:  We've also got a number of out of town shows lined up starting this month.  Long term, I would really like to go to Europe and then conquer the world!!!

Hell City Kings with Skeleton Dick and World's Most Dangerous. Saturday at Rudyard's British Pub.

As Bill Fool explains it the door is "$10 at the door or $8 from the bands. People
can get in touch through myspace or facebooks or just find us drinking somewhere for the $8 deal."