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“Hey, do you happen to know who owns that Porsche parked outside?” He owned it. I already knew that. I could write a book on failed pickup lines.
--Brandi Poss at Front Porch Pub
Photo: Eric Kayne
Can I buy you a drink??
Usually it's the 2nd line that's worse. "So, what do you do?"
Red flag. GTFO.
Ive done the best with the direct approach... "wanna do it?"... usually with fewer words tho, lol
They always laughed at my lines . . .until I reached up and licked my eyebrow.
Hope I feel better tomorrow. My doctor said I had an......?EEEEbolllllaaaa virus, I think.
Or as a newly divorced surgeon friend of mine said, back when mostly doctors has beeper, at a synagogue mixed singles party......after one lady sauntered up to hip rather quickly...."I see ya have a beeeppa..........What do YOU do?" He said, "I work for the telephone company" and she quickly disappeared.
The doctor was lucky!!!She was very shallow...
Must have been Dr. Michael Brown.
Getting onto the parking lot shuttle at the airport, the driver asked for my parking stub.
"Sorry I lost it. Just look for the Porche convertible."
Three women made suggestive comments. One said she always wanted to ride in a Porche convertible. Could I give her a ride?
I told her sure. My pickup truck was parked next to the Porche.
The driver almost wrecked the shuttle laughing so hard.
Love it! Only problem is if the Porsche isn't there anymore. :-/
I was staying at a hotel in Dallas for the week. There was a "Women in Military Aviation" convention going on. Their guests of honor were the women who during World War II, would ferry the new fighter jets to Europe.
I thought this would be a good place to met women so every morning I would go down for breakfast. I would chat with the elderly pilots thinking it would impress the younger pilots.
The last day a 90 year old former pilot came up to me and said, "If you were 30 years older we could really get it on. Want to try anyway?"
I politely turned her down, but in retrospect I have always regretted my decision. Who knows?
That's hilarious ! !
I might not have made it with the old lady but I darn sure would have hung out with her and become real good friends !
I like that kind of attitude ! !
My husband had the best line, "I've been told I make a damned good breakfast."
Before I knew what was happening, my mouth opened and said "Well, if you make me breakfast, I'll have to be honor bound to make you breakfast."
Scared me bad enough I left the room, stopped at the hotel phones (we were at a convention) and called my best friend. She knew who the guy was and screamed "Go out with him!!! He's the one I would have picked for you the first time."
He was 3 feet behind me and heard the whole thing. And yes, I went home with him. And the next night, and the next night...we married 6 months later and this year we've been married 18 years.
His wasn't a lame line either, he DOES make a damned good breakfast.
Hey did it hurt when you fell from Heaven cuz I think you're an Angel.
The worst I have ever heard, and bolted after that was "Hey do you wash your clothes in windex, becasue i can see myself in your pants." Come on really?? I laughed but it was going nowhere after that line.
THE THING I HATE THE MOST IS WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? I ALWAYS RESPOND WITH I AM PIMPING ALSO. THAT WILL GET THEM OUT OF MY SPACE FOR A REAL MAN, ONE THAT JUST WANT TO HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION
Good to see you on the Chron!
Whats your name beautiful? I like your shoes. Wanna .....
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