Pie is such a happy food; think of American apple pie or a sweet slice of cherry pie or a blueberry pie cooling on a windowsill. And yet, House of Pies is one of the saddest places we've ever eaten key lime pie. It's dimly lit, full of washed-up clubgoers and barflies looking for some late-night comfort food. And the pies? Well, they taste sort of like they've all been stockpiled from the '60s. The fresh fruit pies are your best bet, but we can't in good conscience advise you to eat a cream pie. Also? Don't plan on loitering around this place; there's a $2.50/hour charge for taking up space. Not even the best coconut cream could sweeten that deal.
Vibe: Cut-offs and a dirty white T-shirt? Check. Mullet? Check. Ironic '80s tracksuit? Bring it.