We were enjoying dinner the other evening at an upscale seafood restaurant. My wife and I were seated along the edge of the restaurant slightly away from the crowd, as we like to do, when a well-dressed gentleman was shown to the table next to ours. The hostess was setting the table for two and we overheard him telling her that his guest would be along shortly and asked her to send his waiter right over as he would be needing a cocktail.

The man sat down. He opened the menu and we could see him looking about for his waiter when his cell phone began ringing. One ring. He pulled it out and then began feeling for his glasses in his coat. Two rings. He finally located his readers and put them on. Three rings. He got his focus, identified the caller and answered the phone.
Shut up and eat.
My wife and I could not avoid hearing the conversation. It was apparently a lady friend who was running late to meet him.

As he was on the phone, his waiter approached the table. Seeing that the man was on the phone, the waiter slowed and made eye contact, but the man brushed him away with a dismissive “shooing” gesture.

“This call is important,” he mumbled. The waiter departed without an order.

A few moments later, the man ended his phone conversation and immediately began craning around to locate his waiter. The one who had already made an attempt to assist the gentleman.

My wife and I looked at each other. Amused at this point.

Another minute goes by and the man is obviously becoming antsy about where his server has gone. My wife and I could see the waiter serving a family of five a few tables behind the gentleman.

The phone, which now is lying on the table, rings again. The fellow dons his glasses and there is recognition on his face, but he does not answer. Instead he lets the phone ring. Twice. Three times. Four times. Finally it falls silent. Then a small vibration indicating a message.

I turn to my wife and wonder aloud if he is going to turn it off or turn it to vibrate. Now it is mildly annoying.

The waiter arrives and the gentleman informs the waiter that he has been waiting for service.

“Of course,” the waiter, nonplused, says and leaves to fetch the gentleman a drink.

We are watching with judgment and bemusement, but the waiter is taking it all in stride.

The phone rings again and the man answers immediately. While he is on the phone, his young lady friend arrives and sits at the table. The man never breaks his concentration from the phone call.
Sign of the times at some restaurants.: Fotolia photos
Now, the young lady’s phone rings. With her companion on the phone, she answers.
The man and woman are now each conversing with someone else, while dining with each other.

The waiter returns with the man’s cocktail and waits table side. The lady ignores him as she is on the phone. After a few moments, he departs the table.

When the man gets off the phone he sits watching the lady finish her conversation. When she hangs up he is irritated that she was on the phone while at dinner with him.

The lady asks aloud, “Where is the waiter?”

The couple now have our undivided attention. They have successfully interrupted our meal. I would like to ask the couple to turn off their phones. But I don’t as I would not cause a disturbance, although that is exactly what this couple has done.

Cell phones in society have become a nuisance. They are as disruptive to the guest experience in restaurants as they are in movies. They destroy the flow of service and break the atmosphere for guests around the offenders.

Some restaurants have gone so far as to ban cell phones in their dining rooms. At first, people were outraged by this notion, but restaurants must demand a basic respect for the experience of other guests and for the integrity of service.

Besides, it is clear many folks prioritize their cell phones and blackberries at a level that defies decorum. (In fact, I attended a funeral last week and in the middle of the eulogy one could hear the ringing of a PDA from the front rows.)

While many restaurants have no definite guidelines about cell phone usage, I would suggest that less is more. Turn off the ringer or set it to vibrate.

While dining, if you must take or place a call, try to use a little tact and discretion. Excuse yourself from the table. Remember that other folks are listening, whether they want to or not.

Also, bear in mind that communication – with the waiter – is essential for great service.