These guys.: Photo courtesy of Jay Roscoe
On a remarkably sunny and breezy Houston day, 10 something, I drove up to the empty Northwest Mall parking lot. A lone brown paper bag quietly tumbled across the lot, as I pulled into a parking spot with a faded wheelchair emblem painted onto the gritty asphalt.

Three men sat on the curb in front of Macy’s, which had been closed for months. As they stared, the largest of the three, wearing a straw sombrero, reached into a small cooler and pulled out a 32 ounce Tecate, or as we called it in Mexico, a “caguama.”

I stepped out of my large vehicle, advancing toward the men with a steady, unflinching gait.

I was wary, knowing there was no legitimate reason to hang around the infamous Mall of Ghosts, that is unless one was interested in purchasing cell phone accessories or airbrushed Scarface shirts.

As one smiled an evil grin, I realized that this would be the beginning of an epic day. These men were here for tacos. The long-awaited Houston Chowhounds Taco Crawl had begun.

The vehicles started pouring in, and we loaded the bus. Dozens of chefs, food writers/bloggers, restaurant industry folks and tacoholics met up in this giant deserted parking lot with one mission in mind. Well, two, if you include the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

We started out with two creatively named teams: Team A and Team B.

Team A was the taco party bus, which was a large school bus that held about 45. Team B included everyone else. Some of the taco hounds decided to come up with Team C, which included anyone riding in a convertible, though I think their loyalty to the group had more to do with following Peggy around.

You see, Peggy is a load of fun to hang out with, plus she had a convertible and a homemade batch of sangria that was eloquently composed the night before with watermelon juice, blood orange, papaya, thai basil and rosé; served with dry soda, vodka and frozen grapes. Frozen grapes? Because ice cubes are just boring.

I brought along a pinata that had been painstakingly shaped into the form of a famous Mexican luchador. As the bus departed in the exact opposite direction of Jarro Cafe, I handed out Mexican comic books to everyone, most with lowbrow illustrations of scantily-clad Chicana women on the covers. Why not?

Meanwhile, the exotic and mysterious Lina Fuh, riding in the front seat of the bus, explained to the bus driver that she was probably holding her map upside down.

I’d brought along a small and powerful slingshot I had purchased at Canino’s on Airline the day before. You know, for some extra bus fun. I loaded a pack of Chicles, stretched back the band as far as I could, and fired toward the back of the bus. I missed, however, and it launched the Chicle pack right into the forehead of the guy sitting directly behind me. The chicle pack exploded on impact, and rained down onto the floor of the bus.

DAMN, that had to hurt.
Don't let the bright colors fool you, these aren't child's play.: Syd Kearney : 29-95
Of course, I wasn’t going to let Mr. Cerebral Contusion get in the way of everyone’s fun, so I pocketed the slingshot, yelled “heads up!” and threw the Chicles toward the back of the bus instead. And what do you know, on the first throw and the second, I somehow hit two different girls right in the cornea.

This worried me at first, but then I remembered that this was my bus. And nobody can kick me off of MY OWN TACO PARTY BUS, so HA-HA, LA-LA-LA, TACO DANCE, GET OUT MY FACE.

Both teams stopped in at the famous Jarro Cafe on North Gessner. Not only did it have the aptly-named “Neon,” the sauce with a 200-year half life, it also released two new salsas for the occasion. Jarro Cafe was well prepared for the crowd, and got the orders out in a flash. In fact, the staff started giving out delicious free bistek tacos to anyone who wasn’t already stuffed with tacos. The tacos carnitas, marinated in orange juice, were popular as well as some of the less ordinary menu fare, such as the cochinita de pibil and campechano, a beef/chorizo combination which is hailed as their specialty.
Syd Kearney : 29-95
Beaver's superchef Jonathan Jones captivated the foodies with his fluent Spanish and upcoming recipes, while cake extraordinaire Rachel wowed the dessert crew with the exquisite art of buttercream preparation and food photography. This gave me a wonderful opportunity to siphon gasoline from both of their vehicles since the bus was running a little low.

The teams split up again. Team A went to Tacos El Mapache, in the wrong direction, and Team B haded to Cocina de Colima.

Tacos El Mapache is a cool little restaurant and it has a taco stand in the same strip center. We stepped over a guy that was passed out on the sidewalk with a half-full beer in his hand, so I quickly called dibs on it. Hey, there’s no beer like free beer.

We lined up at the taco truck, and everyone tried something different. The barbacoa and lengua were a big hit, and we enjoyed the Southern Mexico-style pastor as well.

The crew set up camp in the parking lot. We were short on plastic cups, so I picked up a bunch of small brown paper bags to help the beer drinkers assimilate into their new surroundings.
Syd Kearney : 29-95
About the time we had finished eating, Team B was back from Cocina de Colima. Cocina de Colima was one of our stops because it makes its corn tortillas by scratch and on demand, and its got some of my favorite tacos al pastor in town. Overall the consensus was good, though some weren’t crazy for the ceviche or mojarra frita there.

We packed up and headed to our next stop, Tacorrey and Taqueria Mi Jalisco, again departing in the wrong direction.

Tacorrey and Taqueria Mi Jalisco are two separate taco trucks across the street from one another on Fulton and Berry Street. The various meats at Tacorrey were popular, as well as its tacos al vapor (steamed tacos) that were cooked up just for the Chowhound crew. Some of the more adventurous eaters headed across the street to try Mi Jalisco's excellent tacos de tripas, which were served with sweet caramelized onions and grilled jalapenos.

Most members of Team A found a nice shady spot behind the taco truck to set up their lawnchairs. I had a great time talking tacos with Tex-Mex aficionado Jay Francis. I poked around at everyone’s tacos, finding out which were the favorites. We had plenty of room in the parking lot to hang around and chat in the beautiful weather. I was surprised to meet Adam Richman, host of the Travel Channel’s Man vs. Food, grubbing out on tacos as well.
Team Rogue, led by J.C. Reid: Photo courtesy of Jay Roscoe
Behind the scenes, teams B and C were staging a coup. With the notorious J.C. Reid and Jenny Wang leading the way, teams B and C formed Team Rogue, a band of Taco Truck Crawl deviants who pledged a sovereign allegiance to go somewhere that was not on the printed itinerary. Also they were kind of drunk.

Team A took the party bus to Taqueria Laredo on Patton Street. Laredo on Patton has been highly reviewed by food writers across the city, regardless of the Mexican Barbie interior. The different meats were roasted and slow-cooked, and were served with handmade flour tortillas. Although I’m a big fan of the corn tortilla, flour can be a bit easier to work with when you’ve got a half-pound of green pork adobo dripping everywhere. In the nearby Fiesta parking lot, most of Team A headed to a churro truck that served amazing fresh cinnamon and condensed-milk desserts.

Meanwhile, Team Rogue was at Gerardos Drive In, enjoying Gerardo’s famed barbacoa straight from the skull, steamed right in front of them. I must admit, I was insanely jealous when I saw the picture below.
This is how it's done.: Jenny Wang photo
After we got back to our cars, half the crew met up at Big Star Baron 19th for the afterparty, and the other half made a pit stop at Mam’s House of Ice for snow cones to cool off their scorched palates before showing up at Big Star.

I’m fairly sure that everyone who had anything to do with Houston food was in attendance. After some beer and tequila, I disemboweled the pinata so everyone could try the unusual Mexican candy.

Although there were specials on Mexican beer and Lone Stars, I enjoyed Conroe’s Pine Belt Ale from Southern Star Brewery, which seems to be popping up everywhere lately. A nice fella named Mike Watson even brought a magnificent pork shoulder for those remarkable folks that still had appetites.

Someone even brought a keg of beer to the party. I have no idea whose it was, but I grabbed a plastic cup from the bartender and went to work on it, because hey, you know what they say about free beer.

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Jay Roscoe also writes about firearms and chupacabras at his Web site, Guns and Tacos.