Whine & Dine: Vomiting diner, tiny portions & raucous bar = bad experience at Monarch

    Houston Restaurant Weeks, which wraps up Monday, offers diners deals at the city’s finest restaurants while helping feed those in need. Many Houstonians use the deals as an excuse to try new restaurants. We heard from one such reader.

    Michelle Braverman writes:

    “We love Houston Restaurant Weeks and have discovered some now favorites in the past (La Griglia and Brennan's) as a result of great food and service during HRW. This year we loved Up and are certain to return.
    “One of our choices this past week was Monarch Restaurant in the Hotel ZaZa. Monarch, it turns out, is a moth and no butterfly. First, we were terribly disappointed that the restaurant looks more like a dimly lit coffee shop than fine dining (and no tablecloths). Adjacent to the bar, it was intolerably noisy from raucous bar activity. Cursory, rudimentary service, intolerably slow between courses, missing utensils, misunderstood orders, hostesses and wait staff running around but not accomplishing much.
    “We had the unpleasant experience of being at the table next to a young woman who threw up and were thus witnesses to additional inspections and visitations before the clean-up. Granted, such misfortune could happen any place. It was probably not a good omen.
    “Food was not the issue. It was OK, what there was of it. An appetizer portion of ONE lobster ravioli? A mesclun salad straight from the box at Kroger’s? Lean Cuisine-size portions of mains (including two sprigs of broccolini as a vegetable)? A miniature key lime pie tart and sliverette of cheesecake? We saw a slice of cheesecake four times the size of ours served to another diner.
    “The waiter could see we weren’t happy and sent over the manager, although we didn’t ask for him. In response to our disappointment about the ambience, the manager said that Monarch was a bistro, not a restaurant (though it clearly says restaurant on the door and the website). Yes, they give smaller portions on the HRW menu and ‘everybody does’ (not so). He took $20 off the bill, which we did not expect or ask him to do. In fact, that demeaning gesture made us feel dismissed. Throwing money around does not solve everything.
    “Then no one stopped scurrying long enough to take the credit card. We finally brought it up to the deer-in-headlights hostesses who didn’t know what to do with it either.
    “I suspect Monarch’s problems go beyond HRW, but being treated to ‘special’ portions certainly did not make us feel special.”

    Whine & Dine reached out to the folks at Monarch and received this response from Matthew Nuss, executive vice president of Z Resorts, which owns the Monarch and Hotel Zaza:

    “We are obviously very disappointed to hear that your reader had a negative experience at Monarch Bistro, and we appreciate the opportunity to respond. To start, it seems that the couple who wrote in to your column was looking for a fine dining restaurant, including white tablecloths on the tables. While we understand that some people equate white tablecloths with a heightened level of quality and service, Monarch Bistro is an eclectic, first-rate bistro with a fresh, locally inspired menu served in a friendly, lively atmosphere. Unfortunately, their expectation to see white tablecloths seems to have set the tone for the evening.
    “It is unfortunate that the woman dining within close proximity to the couple became ill during their visit to the restaurant, but we can assure you that this was an isolated incident and not a result of ill-prepared food or being over-served. We are also disappointed to hear the portions of the Houston Restaurant Weeks dinner items were not to their liking. The portion sizes for this particular menu have been specifically designed and executed to be on par with portions for a multicourse dinner. In fact, the ravioli appetizer in question is on Monarch Bistro’s regular menu, and it is always served as one large piece — it is not a scaled-down version for Houston Restaurant Weeks.
    “We take great pride in our customer service and put forth all efforts in creating memorable experiences for our guests. The gentleman who took care of the Bravermans this particular evening is one of our most tenured servers and sensed their disconcert, which is why he intuitively sent over a manager to ease any uncertainties. After speaking with the couple, the manager offered to compensate a portion of the bill as an appropriate action for their unsatisfactory meal.
    “Monarch has a bustling, upbeat nightlife scene and carries the reputation of a respected and sought-after establishment. We offer live entertainment for our guests’ enjoyment toward the end of dinner service, which then sets the transition from just a typical dining experience into a nightlife destination. Many of our patrons are receptive to this change in atmosphere, but we do understand there are those, such as the Bravermans, who would prefer a less lively environment.
    “After chatting at length with Mr. Braverman and inviting him and his wife back to give us another try, we certainly hope they take us up on it and become yet another familiar face we greet by name.”

    If you’re unfamiliar with Houston Restaurant Weeks, the monthlong promotion features top restaurants’ special HRW menus. Five dollars of each $35 dinner (and $3 of each $20 lunch) goes to the Houston Food Bank. You can find details as well as the menus at houstonrestaurantweeks.com.

    Comments

    placidian Tue, 08/28/2012 - 2:45pm

    A bit of gakking, some hunting and pecking, free money and live music! Stop complaining!
    =P

    john deaux Tue, 08/28/2012 - 2:56pm

    Vomit, Yes! this should be the next limited list contest. "Best resturants to vomit in" choose from our list.....

    Sihaya Sun, 09/02/2012 - 1:26am

    I assume there's a separate category for bars?

    paul dubois Tue, 08/28/2012 - 4:39pm

    Well, since Monarch Bistro has set itself up with a definitely European style in the name of their establishment, they mignt consider taking their flair for the exotic one step further, providing their customers with feather throat ticklers and install vomitoriums.

    Shoeless Joe Tue, 08/28/2012 - 5:02pm

    I tend to agree with you Placidian. Looks like they got what they wanted. Heck to the Stop Complaining!

    Primosuarez Tue, 08/28/2012 - 5:23pm

    Stay at home if you want peace and quiet.
    I've eaten at dozens of HRW spots and all have smaller portions then they normally serve.
    How do you think they can give 3 course menus at 35$?
    You should be happy that it was the girl next to you that got sick and not yourself.
    I once ate dinner at a restaurant in Hawaii and watched a man die of a heart attack. Consider yourself lucky!
    Im sure you are used to quiet dinners at the retirement home.
    I've been to Monarch and it's a lively, hopping atmosphere.
    Do your research before you go out to eat!

    Anonymous12 Wed, 08/29/2012 - 10:05am

    "I've eaten at dozens of HRW spots and all have smaller portions then they normally serve.
    How do you think they can give 3 course menus at 35$?"

    If they're not willing to give their diners a full experience, and it is too costly to them to provide 3 courses at $35, they should not participate in the program. It's voluntary, not mandatory. The idea besides doing this is both the charity portion AND getting customers in the door, convincing them to come back at full price. If someone is given a skimpy portion, an establishment is shooting themselves in the foot in terms of getting a repeat customer. Poor publicity. I've spoken to many people who attend HRW events and nearly all end up spending much more than $35 when they add in additional drinks and apps or desserts outside the HRW menu. The majority of diners are not taking the $35 deal and that's all - there is still opportunity for profit.

    Get it Right!! Fri, 09/07/2012 - 8:09am

    You couldn't have put it better. We use HRW to try new places and visit those we haven't been to in a while. We normally eat out at fine dining establishments 5-6 times a month; during HRW we hit 8 restaurants. Our average tab was $85 per person, a far cry from the $35 3-Course Meal. AND we've add 3 new restaurants to our "regular's list."

    So Mr. Restaurateur, HRW "works," we get try new places, you develop return business, and a few bucks go to charity. Win-Win-Win. However, over the past 4 years, there has been a few restaurants that have also been "black-balled" based on their service and food quality, so you need to put your best foot forward if you going to use HRW to develop loyal customers.

    sherri Wed, 08/29/2012 - 11:31am

    Why is it that you have to be so mean spirited??!!

    digobamadig Tue, 08/28/2012 - 5:38pm

    Well, I think Monarch made the right gesture by offering to take $20 off. I mean, what more did the diners want? A totally comped meal?Very few establishments will do that, much less give you the time of day.

    scoobydoo Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:37pm

    It sez it is a restaurant
    http://www.hotelzaza.com/#houston/monarch

    Shamu Wed, 08/29/2012 - 6:02am

    Guess both sides got what they deserved. The Bravermans should learn to cook at home. IMO Monarch should drop the pretense of being a restaurant/bistro, rather than a trendy, elitist snack bar.

    Mary Wed, 08/29/2012 - 8:50am

    Monarch is for the young, beautiful and high profile. Too many of my friends have reported shoddy treatment there apparently because of their age, including one couple who returned to the hotel to celebrate their anniversary having spent their wedding night there years ago. I don't go where my money isn't green enough.

    Texmex01 Thu, 08/30/2012 - 10:40am

    "Monarch is for the young, beautiful and high profile, still living at home with Mommy and Daddy, with no real future..."

    Had to fix that for you....

    Ric Carter Wed, 08/29/2012 - 9:19am

    "...Unfortunately, their expectation to see white tablecloths seems to have set the tone for the evening..."

    No Mr. Nuss, it wasn't the expectation of white tablecloths that set the tone, it was the patron vomiting up theire meger portions all over the dining area that set the tone.

    And by the way, you advertise yourself as a restaraunt at least three times on your webpage - and nowhere on that webpage do you mention bistro.

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