Houston is blessed with an abundance of lingerie/ adult novelty stores, each offering their own tawdry spin on adult fun. I have visited most of the local adult boutiques and, after examining dozens of crotchless thongs and caressing what seemed like every silicon vagina available in Montrose, I’ve found one I'd like to share.

Fantasy Gifts Cards T-Shirts
1340 Westheimer
Monday-Saturday: 10am-2am / Sunday: 12pm-2am
713-526-9522

Fantasy Gifts Cards T-Shirts (catchy name – the owner is obviously a student of the marketing arts) is by far my favorite place for adult toys.

If you can make it past the ghastly cloud of patchouli incense at the front door, you will find a quirky establishment that stocks some of the best phallic substitutes in town. The cozy unassuming shop has the widest variety of quality vibrators and dildos in Houston.

And “quality” is what sets Fantasy Gifts apart from the competition. Dozens of other stores carry a larger selection of playthings, most of which are tacky, poorly made and unlikely to provide much real fun before breaking.

FGTC carries the standard array of bachelorette gag gifts, vibrators and dildos, but balances their selection out with some high-end wonders. Their collection of museum-quality Lelo brand vibrators is impressive. These hard to find European wonders mix form and function beautifully and are so elegant that you could (though perhaps shouldn’t) display them in your home. They also showcase a variety of beautifully crafted glass, acrylic and stainless steel dildos not found anywhere else.

I should warn that this is not the place you would want to go if you are in the market for lingerie. The toys are elegant and targeted to women – the lingerie is not. The staff, however, is welcoming, relaxed and happy to answer questions or offer recommendations.

Besides selling novelties, FGCT has a decent assortment of smoking paraphernalia (anyone under 18 should be reminded that it is very wrong to purchase or use tobacco or tobacco-like products. Underage smoking makes Jesus cry.) and sells Nat Sherman’s Fantasia cigarettes and Sweet Dreams.

It’s the climax-inducing toys, however, that will keep me coming back. If you are between relationships or just planning on spending a few quiet nights alone, I recommend you stop by and pick out a shiny new friend with benefits.