Most of these are courtesy of a site called Nintendo 8, which hosts scores of classic NES games for free online. Caveat: I'm not sure if the sites I'm linking to all have the right to host these games, so if you're afraid Nintendo is going to sue you for playing Battletoads on your PC, by all means stay in your crib you big fat baby.

Bubble Bobble - My favorite video game music of all time – just one song, less than a minute long, playing on loop the entire game, and I never get sick of it.

Contra - What’s taking the military so long to invent a Spread Gun?

3D Battles of World Runner - At the time I thought these were the most astonishing graphics I’d ever seen. I don’t know if it’s because I was in elementary school or because it was a couple decades ago and everybody was stupid back then, but this just looks goofy to me now.

Dr. Mario
- I’m pretty sure he’s not a real doctor, but he can get you lots of pills.

Final Fantasy II - I actually only played the first one but can’t seem to find it so I’m linking this instead. Perfect if you need to kill several dozen hours right now (and can also read Japanese).

Battletoads - It’s called “Battletoads.” Just play it.

Super Mario Bros. - Citizen Kane itself.

Super Mario Bros. 2 - In Japan this was originally a completely different game but Nintendo added Mario, Luigi, Princess and the other guy and released it over here so they could buy themselves some more cars.

Super Mario Bros. 3 - Video games never got any better than this. They never had to. Need proof? The highly-acclaimed new Mario game for Wii, which is basically Super Mario Bros. 3 Part II. Twenty years later, this is still the game I want playing at my funeral.

Bad Dudes - THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS. ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE THE PRESIDENT?

Karnov - A fat Russian circus worker spits boogers at mythological creatures. Somehow this one failed to capture America’s imagination.

Spy Hunter - I remember being particularly good at crashing in this one.

NARC - The Pixies covered the theme song. It doesn’t make the game much better.

Wizards and Warriors - Mostly Warriors, actually, but it’s still a pretty fun game.

Ghosts N’ Goblins - Now we’re talking. A fairly equal mix of the two promised elements. Plus, when your knight gets hit he strips down to his undies, probably just because it looks goofy.

Jaws - Yep, like the shark movie. I’m having a difficult time remembering if this game sucked or if it was just really, really hard. Quite possibly both.

Iron Tank - Almost makes Inglourious Basterds look like a WWII documentary. It looks pretty cool when your (iron) tank blows up, though.

Rampage - When I was a kid, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a giant monkey that punched down buildings. This game is at least partially responsible.

Mega Man 2 - Mega Man 2 is easily one of the top fifteen best Mega Mans.

Friday the 13th - A stupid, pointless game everybody rented at least once back before they invented Knowing Any Better.

Double Dragon - The granddaddy of all Dudes Punching A Bunch Of Other Dudes games.

Bomberman - A great game, and also one of my favorite Elton John songs.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 Did you know the third Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film was written by a young Wes Anderson? Of course you didn’t, it’s a ridiculous lie.

Duck Tales - Just the other day I found myself singing the theme to the Duck Tales cartoon. Why? Because I’m really, really cool.

Tiger Heli - You just fly around in a helicopter and shoot things. Not everything has to be a cartoon tie-in.

A Boy and His Blob - Now this, this I have no idea why they couldn’t make into a cartoon. Sheer laziness.

Trojan - Never had any idea what was happening here. Something about swords and the future and everything’s weird and broken and badass.

Skate or Die - I’m still waiting for Skate or Tony Hawk Will Die. Would also work great as a reality show.

Tecmo Bowl - Kind of looks like a Petri dish but it’s actually football. Pick the Bears (remember, it's 1986), run every play, win every time, get bored with the game and go for a walk outside.