• IN YOUR UNSURPRISING NEWS OF THE DAY...: Other items in this segment include "Sun Rises in the East" and "NBC is Run By Idiots."
• A GREAT AND PRETTY COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF SHOWS THAT WERE CANCELED TOO EARLY: Although, in my estimation, Pushing Daisies deserves a much higher place on this list than Clone High. I mean, Clone High? Really?
• YOU CAN EITHER CATCH UP WITH LOST WITH MY REWATCH LITE (TM) OR YOU CAN WATCH THIS VIDEO:
  
  
• BREAK OUT THE SEQUINS: Dancing With the Stars returns on March 22, with 2 fewer C-listers this season.
• FOX = WIN! NBC= FAIL: But then you already knew that.
• THE LATE NIGHT FALLOUT CONTINUES:
  
  

  AND CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE, IT'S A LITTLE MORE "ADULT" IN CONTENT, KIDS:
  

WATCH THIS

• American Idol: The auditions are in Hotlanta tonight, and I can assure you, guest judge Mary J. Blige does not need any more drama, y'all. We'll be tweeting it live again (here's to hoping Twitter doesn't fail again): @joeyguerra @tubulartv 7 p.m., FOX
• Monsterquest: MONSTER SHARKS! Season premiere. 8 p.m., History
• Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura: Governor Crazy weighs in on the 2012 apocalypse theories in the season finale. 9 p.m., TruTV
• High School Reunion: I think the only way you can make a 20th high school reunion more painful would be to turn it into a reality show. Barf. 9 p.m., TVLand
• Nip/Tuck: Wait, why is Kimber decorating Sean's apartment? Did I miss something? 9 p.m., FX
• Leverage: Season finale, people. 9 p.m., TNT