Okay, hate is a strong word. I saw each film in theaters when they came out and had a real good time. I never read the books so it wasn't ruined for me the way, say, Watchmen: The Movie was (though, if I hadn't read the comic, Watchmen: The Movie still would've ruined "Watchmen: The Movie for me). Let me just say that the ideal way to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy is definitely NOT via a marathon on TNT on a tiny television when you've got a 102-degree fever. Even if it's the best thing on. There were points during my fever-haze where I was literally screaming at the TV, "STOP FUCKING TALKING!"

But who cares if nothing but portentous gazes, solemn oathmaking and a bunch of goddamn hiking happens for 60% (so, six hours) of the proceedings? Without the Lord of the Rings films this masterpiece would not have been made:

All is forgiven.