I spent a nice chunk of Saturday afternoon handing out snowcones with the rest of the 29-95 folks at the Houston Gay Pride Parade (if you stopped by our booth, I was the guy who spilled syrup all over my hands when I made your snowcone). Half the fun of any parade-type event is the people watching, and I did my part over the course of the day. Here’s what I was able to mark off my own personal Pride Parade Bingo Card:

- Twenty-year-old lesbian with a rat tail dressed like a Beastie Boy drinking Sparks.

- Uncomfortable-looking guy with a shirt that says “NOT GAY BUT SUPPORTIVE” standing very close to his wife at all times.

- More shirts with slogans for different local churches than you see the entire rest of the year in Montrose.

- Condom made into a balloon with “THE FONZ” written on it in red marker for some reason.

- Numerous teenage couples in love making out in public for the first time and exactly as overjoyed about that as they should be.

- Guy dressed like Jessica Rabbit that makes me basically start from scratch as far as my own sexual orientation goes.

- Shirtless, leathery sextagenarian with a permanent “things were better in the olden days” scowl.

- Disco dancing in 101 degree heat (so, really shitty disco dancing).

- Enormous drag queen sweating profusely through nine layers of makeup and cursing whoever decided the parade had to be in the summer (wearing high tops for comfort).

- Eight year old girl in an I Love Lucy shirt.

- Border Collie with bedazzled bandanna.

- Turkey leg in a urinal (not a euphemism).

If you've got any awesome stories about the parade I'd love to hear 'em. After about 6 p.m. my story was pretty much "beer and dancing whenever I heard a Michael Jackson song and beer."