• CONGRATULATIONS, JOSS WHEDON AND LADY TELEVISION WRITER! May your union last longer than your shows' relationships with FOX.
• NO ONE APPRECIATES MOTHERS: Why should television audiences be any different. NO NO, THAT'S FINE. YOU GO OUT WITH YOUR FANCY PANTS MAGAZINE FRIENDS. The mothers and the lady with no memory don't mind at all.
• I LIVED THROUGH THE 80s. THE 80s WERE A FRIEND OF MINE.: You, ma'am, are not from the 80s.
• YES, BUT WHERE'S THE EPISODE OF FAMILY TIES WHERE ALEX STAYS UP ALL NIGHT TWEAKING ON METH DIET PILLS SO AS TO CRAM FOR THE BIG TEST AND THEN BECOMES ADDICTED?
Oh, wait. I see. Heroines. Hmm. Maybe the one where Mallory almost elopes with Nick? The message being...don't elope when you're stupid? I guess?

WATCH THIS

• American Idol: As long as everyone finishes their songs and rambling comments on time -- I'M LOOKING AT YOU, PAULA -- we won't have any problems, you and me, Idol. 7 p.m., FOX
• Fringe: OOH! ZFT and the return of Madeupiphan! Sounds good! IF SOMEONE CAN SHUT HER YAP LONG ENOUGH SO AS TO NOT PREEMPT IT. PAULA. 8 p.m., FOX
• Dancing with the Stars: Somehow, improbably, that rodeo dude that is somehow, improbably dating Jewel, is still on the show. Well, for the moment. 8 p.m., ABC